demons everywhere I look
everywhere I turn
outside inside
talking to me
pulling me into
the darkness
holding me down
laughing in my face
screaming in delight
I am theirs again
in their grip
struggling to get away
fighting for freedom
from my own
self hatred

how I despise myself
loathe and sicken myself

-Blanche-
5. April 2020

Blanche - 5. April 2020

overwhelming sadness
a claw gripping my heart
walking through
the garden of sorrow
where pain is
the order of the day
water dripping
from the trees
like the tears
running down
my face

-Blanche-

Blanche - 31. July 2020

you walked
out the door
and before
it slams shut
I am out of
your heart
your life
your world
I stand
left behind

out of sight
out of mind

forgotten

-Blanche-


“Stuff’s always complicated for me. Just where I fit in. How I come off to certain people. It’s either I’m trying too hard or I’m not trying hard enough. I can never get it right.” - Randall Pearson

Blanche - 11. October 2020

death is
closing in
I tell it to
go away
there is
no open door
in this house
death is at
the wrong door
I am not ready for sorrow
I am not ready for pain
I am not ready for grief
I am saving my tears
GO
GO
GO

Blanche- 08. August 2020

overwhelming sadness
paralysing and haunting
day after day as the
sun rises and sets
hours and hours filled with
earthly thoughts and a
yearning for change
a wakeup call
to keep the ghosts of the past
from invading the future
like my nightmares
a Ferris wheel that
goes on and on
in a ghost town
where the dust lays thick
with footstep from the past
imprinted on the ground
will the horror ever fade
to a whisper that can
no longer be heard
for now the Ferris wheel
is rotating forever strong

-Blanche - 31. August 2018